


This is silly

by Sonamae



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Laughter as a coping Mechanism, Like wow Felix you're such a child, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Platonic Relationships, Shmoop, a lot of dick talk, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 10:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamae/pseuds/Sonamae
Summary: “This is silly.”“The art of fellatio is not silly, Felix.”“Sucking cock is too silly, you're silly.  We're going to get in so much trouble if my father catches us out passed curfew.  You're supposed to be doing your rehab.”





	This is silly

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this unedited silly fic I wrote because I have a lot of feelings for Felix okay?

“This is silly.”

“The art of fellatio is not silly, Felix.”

“Sucking cock is _too_ silly, _you're silly._ We're going to get in so much trouble if my father catches us out passed curfew. You're supposed to be doing your rehab.”

 

A promise formed some time passed three in the morning when Dorian Pavus was a skinny little twig in his early twenties, sneaking out of the house with his best friend to go to the depths of a privately owned library by one of the Magisterium Alumni. Felix was beside him at the doors, nervous and shaking as he tried not to drag Dorian back by his hair.

“This is silly.” Felix pushed the door open enough for them to both slip in, then scrubbed his wrist against his cheek.

“The art of fellatio is not silly, Felix.” Dorian scolded as he ducked around shelves and made a beeline for the locked corner office. Following after him, Felix decided to go off on a whispered tirade.

“Sucking cock is _too_ silly, _you're_ silly. We're going to get in so much trouble if my father catches us out passed curfew. You're supposed to be doing your rehab.” He stopped when they reached another door and crouched down, already pulling out a bobby pin to pry open the lock.

“You'd think they'd have wards in place instead of just a regular lock.” Dorian mused, smiling as Felix huffed and pushed the door open.

“Oh _please_ , the Avaliar's are dumber than a bag of dirt. Now lets get your stupid book and go back before we get in trouble.” Felix hovered near the door until Dorian was inside, then hurried to a locked case full of grimoires.

Smiling, Dorian walked to the shelf that hovered over the back desk and ran his fingers down the spines of the books. None of them were labeled, but he knew which one to pick.

His prize was a dark blue tome with pinstripes, it even grew warm under his fingers at the touch. With ease he pulled it off the shelf and rearranged the books so the gap wasn't as obvious. As he turned, he saw Felix prying open the lid of the glass case and he sighed.

“ _Felix._ ” He scolded. “I thought you didn't want us getting _caught._ ”

“We don't be!” Felix hissed back as he swapped one of the grimoire's for a stray book laying on the desk. “They won't even notice. Let's go.” He closed the lid and locked it, then grabbed Dorian by the arm and ushered them toward the door. 

Their run back to the Alexius estate was made in utter silence, and Felix sprawled out on Dorian's bed with his prize. Dorian, in turn, flopped into his arm chair and hugged the book to his chest.

“I love how every time we do this, you always steal something far worse than I do.” Dorian muttered as he watched Felix stroke the spine of the grimoire before flipping it open.

He crooned. “Necromancy, I don't have this one yet. You'll have to explain bits to me.” Felix rolled onto his stomach and propped the book up on Dorian's pillows. “Have fun reading your dick book.”

“Don't be vulgar.” Dorian tossed back before he let the book rest on his knees and opened the cover. “That's my job.”

“I'll stop being vulgar when you stop trying to pick up tips from magical books about dick sucking.” Felix said in a sing-song. “Oh, hey, if you see any tips in there you think I might find useful, let me know.”

Dorian scoffed. “Now I really hope you die a virgin.”

“Oh please, we both know you'd drag my ass to the nearest brothel on my deathbed if you had to.” Felix looked up and turned, watching as Dorian flipped a page. “You would, right?”

Dorian looked up and offered his friend a gentle smile. “I swear on my life that I won't let you die a virgin.”

–

Felix was dying, had been dying for years, but now...

“I give him a week at most.” The healer whispered. “His affairs are in order, Mr. Pavus, but he's asking for you.” Dorian nodded, not wanting to listen to the rest of her drivel, and walked passed her into the private room that Josephine had set Felix up with. He was half awake on the bed, covers thrown off his feet and face staring out the window.

He looked up when Dorian walked in and smiled, face alight despite his pale skin.

“Dorian.” He reached a hand out and Dorian rushed toward him, gripping his fingers until both their knuckles were white. “You're okay.”

“I'm okay?” Dorian sat on the stool next to the bed, his voice breaking. “Felix you're dying, I've come to terms with that, yes, but I'm not _okay_ with it.” His laughter was morbid.

Felix just smiled, reaching out with his other hand to pat Dorian's cheek. “Hush.” He whispered. “I need you to do me a favor.” He pushed himself up, letting Dorian guide him until he was settled. “Remember when we were younger and you promised me you'd get me laid before I died?”

Dorian stared, then laughed. “Felix! You've got The Blight!” Felix just grinned at him. “I'm sure I can find someone to sleep with you, but you better not ask for miracles.”

“What? Oh, no!” Felix shook his head. “Dorian, oh your lovely face.” He grinned even wider. “I wanted you to know you don't _have_ to get me laid. I'm not a virgin anymore.”

Blinking, Dorian's laughter changed from shocked to confused. “What... when did you even have the time?” Dorian leaned forward, feeling Felix's breath on his cheek as his friend leaned against his shoulder.

“It was after you left, one of the healers my father hired.” He smiled and shook his head. “Turns out I was still attractive even after she'd cleaned up my vomit earlier that day.” Dorian let out a bark of laughter.

“Felix the Casanova, who would have guessed.” He settled his friend back against the bed cushions. “I'm glad you got to experience that, I'm glad you're happy.”

Felix nodded and let out a long sigh. “You'll find this funny, but it wasn't all people cracked it up to be. It was so awkward.” Dorian laughed again. He felt like he was a teenager sharing naughty secrets with his best friend all over again. “No, it was. I didn't know where to put my hands, if I should talk, if I should have been more vocal.”

“You're vile.” Dorian said, all sweet endearments and smiles.

“My favorite part was afterwords when she held me. I'd gotten dizzy and wasn't feeling good, so she let me be the little spoon.” He looked away with a blush, a fond smile on his face. “I wrote to her, she's on her way to Skyhold, but I don't think... she'll make it in time.” His smile faded.

“She will.” Dorian reached to the end of the bed and pulled the covers up, wrapping Felix in them and tucking the edges. “She'll get here and she'll send you off right, and I'll be here too, and you'll be happy as you walk out of this life and into the next one.”

And there was that fond smile, only directed at him this time. “Dorian, make me a new promise?”

“Anything.” Dorian whispered before kissing the back of Felix's hand.

“Good, promise me you'll get over yourself and date that Qunari with the very obvious cock.” Felix laughed when Dorian shrieked at him. “Oh come on, he doesn't even try to hide it.”

“I was a terrible influence on you growing up.” Dorian shook his head, red from his hairline to his toes. “I _cannot_ believe you.”

“He makes you happy.” Felix said, firm. “He makes you smile like I haven't seen you smile in years. He also makes you laugh, and he stares at you when he thinks you aren't looking.”

“Felix, stop.” But Dorian was all embarrassed bluster now.

“I'm sick and dying and you will let me torment you until I go.” Felix said, mater of fact. “Dorian I... I just want you to be happy, promise me that if nothing else happens, you'll try, okay?”

After a long pause, Dorian nodded. “I... I promise.” He leaned forward and kissed Felix's forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Felix whispered. “Now get out, I need some rest.”

–

“The Iron Bull.” Dorian nudged the sleepy Qunari with his foot. “I just slept with The Iron Bull.” He laughed and ran both his hands through his hair.

“Well, at least I enjoyed it.” Bull grunted and rolled over a little, lifting the furs on his bed in invitation. Dorian wriggled closer and tucked against Bull's side. The sweat was still damp on both of them, but for once he didn't care.

“Don't be like that, of course I enjoyed it.” He pressed his lips to Bull's bare bicep. “I'm just... I'm still surprised I didn't run.” Bull hummed and stretched out, a little growl that Dorian knew was pleasure.

“Kinda surprised myself, you talk big but you tend to back down when it comes to sex.” His arm came down and wrapped around Dorian's back.

“I seem to recall _not_ doing that.” Dorian muttered.

“This time, yeah. But I had to start gettin' real obvious with the flirting before you caught on.” He chuckled and Dorian could feel it down to his toes. “Felix actually talked to me about that.” Dorian hummed, remembering his dearly departed friend.

“When did... when did you talk to him?” He asked, hand resting on Bull's chest.

“Couple a days before he passed, was real adamant about seein' me too.” Bull yawned and didn't bother to cover it. “Kept telling me that subtle was not your wheelhouse, that I had to be obvious, and hey he was right.”

“He's laughing at me from the grave, I know it.” Dorian smiled anyway and hugged what he could reach of Bull. “He was always looking out for me, I was always trying to return the favor but he just... he always beat me to it. Hell, he's gone and he's beating me to it.”

Bull hummed, his hand rubbing small circles against Dorian's skin. “I think gettin' to see you at the end was the best you could have offered him for that payback. Healer Adalae told me he'd been hysterical, on the day he died I mean, right up until you showed up. Kept telling her he wouldn't go unless you were there and... shit, this isn't bedroom talk.” Bull frowned at himself before staring at the ceiling, but Dorian shook his head.

“No, no I... thank you. That means... that means more than you could possibly imagine.” Dorian could hear the water in his voice and he turned his head. His face pressed against Bull's chest as he fought back tears.

For a while, Bull was quiet.

“If you need to let it out, I don't mind.” Bull whispered. “You... you haven't really had the chance yet, have you? To cry it out I mean?”

“No I... I really haven't.” Dorian's normal nervous laughter quickly turned into sobs, which Bull guided him through with warm words and hands.

“This is silly.” Dorian said through his tears.

“Yeah, but I'm glad you feel safe enough to let go with me... in more ways than one.” Bull said, full of suggestion and humor. Dorian's laughter returned, only this time jovial.


End file.
